The London Loop gallery is up all over London at the moment and I thought I’d do a little submission, yunno, something silly to brighten up your day if you happen to spot it at a bus stop. It was originally a #TMCAMTD idea but it deserved an inky upgrade from the crayon doodle…You can vote for it here
We have been talking about animals that can jump for the past 5 minutes…
Me: …And Antelopes! They’re excellent at running and jumping.
Daughter: The lovely beautiful ones Daddy? They have horns?
Me: Yes! (She loves them! How sweet!) They would jump SO high if they were here now, they’d be SO happy to see you!
Daughter: …Oh no Daddy. The horns would spike (Gestures with fingers upwards and shouts BANG!) the ceiling.
Me: What game should we play?
Daughter: Let’s play Mummies and Daddies!
Me: I AM a Daddy, that’s not a game for me really, it’s just real life… Why don’t we play…MAKING SOMETHING!
Daughter: (Really excited) YES! You be Make and I’ll be Something.
Me: What’s your favourite number?
Me: Why’s that? Why not, I don’t know…4?
Son: Daddy, if you said I could have 4 milkshakes or 6 milkshakes then I would have 6. So 6 is better.
Me: …so you’ll need to make sure you wear your swimming hat buddy.
(He looks at me and my wife. He is thinking. Obviously.)
Son: Is it a humungous giant hat? Like a Mr Wonka Hat daddy?
Me: Er, no, professional swimmers stopped wearing those a while back.
Me: Oooh, I think I might have a BOILED egg for breakfast.
(Son looks at me very puzzled)
Me: What is it?
Son: Well you can’t eat a HAIRY egg Daddy. That would be disgusting.
Me:Wha…? HA! Very good…Bald, boiled…very good.
(Son looks very pleased with himself)
We had been discussing the special abilities of different animals…
Me: You’re a human being. Your special skill lies in how smart you are. You are smarter than all of the other animals in the world.
Son: Yes. Yes I am (He is very pleased with himself). Cows are not smart. ‘Moo’ is the only word they can say.
Daughter: I will put my hands in my pocket today Daddy so if it rains my head will get wet but not my hands.
Me: Okay, fair enough. You don’t mind your head getting wet?
Me: Can you fit your head in your pocket as well? Like an Ostrich hiding from the rain under its wing?
Daughter: An Ostrich MUST hide its head under its wing Daddy; it has no umbrella.
Me: Night Night. Mind the bed bugs don’t bite.
Son: Daddy what do bed bugs look like? Can you draw one for me?
Me: Sure. (Draws Picture) This is what they DON’T look like if you go to sleep and what they DO look like when you try to stay awake. Good night, love you.