#TMCAMTD – Jumping Antelope

We have been talking about animals that can jump for the past 5 minutes…

Me: …And Antelopes! They’re excellent at running and jumping.

Daughter: The lovely beautiful ones Daddy? They have horns?

Me: Yes! (She loves them! How sweet!) They would jump SO high if they were here now, they’d be SO happy to see you!

Daughter: …Oh no Daddy. The horns would spike (Gestures with fingers upwards and shouts BANG!) the ceiling.

#TMCAMTD – Swimming Hat

Me: …so you’ll need to make sure you  wear your swimming hat buddy.

Son: Okay.

(He looks at me and my wife. He is thinking. Obviously.)

Son: Is it a humungous giant hat? Like a Mr Wonka Hat daddy?

Me: Er, no, professional swimmers stopped wearing those a while back.

#TMCAMTD – A Bald Egg

Me: Oooh, I think I might have a BOILED egg for breakfast.

(Son looks at me very puzzled)

Me: What is it?

Son: Well you can’t eat a HAIRY egg Daddy. That would be disgusting.

Me:Wha…? HA! Very good…Bald, boiled…very good.

(Son looks very pleased with himself)

#TMCAMTD – Moo is the only Word a Cow can say

We had been discussing the special abilities of different animals…

Me: You’re a human being. Your special skill lies in how smart you are. You are smarter than all of the other animals in the world.

Son: Yes. Yes I am (He is very pleased with himself). Cows are not smart. ‘Moo’ is the only word they can say.

#TMCAMTD – An Ostrich Hiding From the Rain

Daughter: I will put my hands in my pocket today Daddy so if it rains my head will get wet but not my hands.

Me: Okay, fair enough. You don’t mind your head getting wet?

Daughter: No.

Me: Can you fit your head in your pocket as well? Like an Ostrich hiding from the rain under its wing?

Daughter: An Ostrich MUST hide its head under its wing Daddy; it has no umbrella.

Me: True.

#TMCAMTD – Bed Bug

Me: Night Night. Mind the bed bugs don’t bite.

Son: Daddy what do bed bugs look like? Can you draw one for me?

Me: Sure. (Draws Picture) This is what they DON’T look like if you go to sleep and what they DO look like when you try to stay awake. Good night, love you.